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100 WC – Stanley

25 Oct

It was a wet and windy day my friend Oliver and I were inside having a pillow fight. Then mum called for dinner. After dinner the rain had stopped and the sun had come out.

Mum said we needed to go outside. So we went outside and got on the trampoline… A few minutes later me and Oliver were bouncing up and down on the trampoline when a branch snapped off a tree and fell on our garden shed Oliver and I said  ‘What is that’

…A few hours passed, Oliver had gone home, when dad came back he phoned the tree surgeon

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2 Comments

Posted by on October 25, 2012 in Information

 

Tags: ,

2 responses to “100 WC – Stanley

  1. mrcobbsclass

    October 25, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    I like how you set the scene in the first part of the 100 words. Well done. Think about your sentences a little before finalising them. What could be different about “A few minutes later me and Oliver were bouncing up and down”. Does it sound right?

     
  2. Sally-Jayne (Team 100WC)

    October 26, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    Hi Stanley. I think you have made very good use of your openers to show time passing – for example “After dinner” and “A few minutes later”. Well done! ,

     

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