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100 WC Week 25 – Lucas

23 Mar

The Incompetent Detective walked into the asylum, he went up to the receptionist and asked to see
Barry Krishner (The man who accidentally ran someone over with a steam roller.) They arrived by the cell where the receptionist left him, He pressed on the buzzer, it opened and a man with a thick German accent asked “How can I help you?” and introduced himself as Dr.Eams . They sat down and the Detective said “it must have been a crushing experience” Barry jumped out of his skin, Dr.Eams then said “like a drink Barry?” “Yes maybe some squash?” Barry fell out of the window.

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7 Comments

Posted by on March 23, 2012 in Information

 

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7 responses to “100 WC Week 25 – Lucas

  1. Mrs Travers

    March 23, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    Hi Lucas

    What a brilliant entry to the 100wc! I loved it. It made me laugh! Your use of puns (play on words and jokes) was really clever.

    Well done!

    From Mrs Travers

     
  2. EW's mum!

    March 23, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    A great piece of writing Lucas; very captivating. I love the ending!

     
  3. mrcobbsclass

    March 23, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    A great piece of writing Lucas, I really like the characterisation of Barry Krishner. You’ve used some clever puns, and the writing has a really good vibrant feel to it. Well done. this is the sort of work I like to read from you. Super!

     
  4. horseloveretp

    March 24, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    thats so good lucas well done

     
  5. James Lee

    March 26, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    Hi Lucas. I think this is the best 100 word challenge you’ve completed. It’s really fun, with some very colourful ideas, and also quite surreal (it reminds me of Monty Python, but that’s about 30 years before your time, although Mr Cobb will know what I mean). Well done, and hope you’re having a good day, and working hard! Dad

     
  6. Louis CB

    March 29, 2012 at 9:58 am

    I really enjoyed reading your dramatic blog- the start of the story was very expanded, the words like incomopetent and asylum, although nearing the end your writing slacked down and it was hard to understand. During your writing, you wrote ‘the receptionist left him, He pressed on the buzzer. You are not supposed to write a capital letter at the beggining of a comma-only if you are writing a holy name, which I am sure you weren’t. Keep up the good writing.

     
  7. Tim

    April 30, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    The pun at the end was very humorous, I liked extreamely!

     

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