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100 WC Week 12 – Scarlett

05 Dec

He grabbed my stomach, I dodged. Then my hands. I was filled with determination and fear. Why me? Am I a bad person? I can’t remember what happened next. Just a blur, inside my head. I can remember a noise, a sound, a voice, commanding him to stop. Then a shadow of me, a hooded figure, and him, a piece of nasty work! And then I was free, his grip loosened. I ached, my whole body. I wanted to die, I felt I could shrivel up; a hole would form beneath me. I could fall a long long way down…

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3 Comments

Posted by on December 5, 2011 in Information

 

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3 responses to “100 WC Week 12 – Scarlett

  1. mrcobbsclass

    December 5, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    I like the way you have constructed this piece, I can really feel your sense of panic. Your use of short sentences helps to give this effect. I particularly liked the phrase “his grip loosened”, it was more powerful than “he loosened his grip”, which you could have chosen. Well done.

     
  2. Mrs Robinson (100WC Team)

    December 6, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    Hi Scarlet – A great visual and thought provoking, powerful 100WC. You have used some good vocabulary that brings your writing to life. Use of short sentences and powerful words really instills in the reafer this sense of panic – well done.

     
  3. reuben and Rufus

    December 14, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    you’ve really shown the panic in the story. I think its great. 🙂 ;p

     

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