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100 WC Week 10 – Edward

20 Nov

I slamed the back door I knew I was safe from the ESP, they have been chaseing me for as far as I know. Maybe I’m a criminal or someone in my raleionship is a crimernl. But at lest I was safe…FOR A MINITURE SECOND! There they were black and white. I ran in shock my heart fired out like a bulleit! They were too plump to catch me. WHAM there I went zooming past to the font door. I raced out. But… a gard dog grawling was I safe? I turned round but as I turned round it changed shape.

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7 Comments

Posted by on November 20, 2011 in Homework

 

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7 responses to “100 WC Week 10 – Edward

  1. mrcobbsclass

    November 20, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    Well done Ed, I like this piece of writing. I like the way you used “There they were black and white.” to suddenly refocus the writing on your enemy. Short sentences are often very powerful. I also like the rhetorical question about your safety. Next time try and add a bit more description into your writing. Can you describe the dog?

     
  2. Mrs Skinner

    November 21, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    I like this piece too Edward. UIt has lots of action in it and I can feel my heart begin to race as your character was running. Thank you for writing for the 100WC!

     
  3. amy

    November 21, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    I LOVE IT SO MUCH ! but I only hafe one question what is a ESP?

     
    • mrcobbsclass

      November 21, 2011 at 8:05 pm

      Good question, not sure myself.

       
    • ES famous singer

      November 22, 2011 at 5:53 pm

      The ESP is a sort of police

       
  4. Mr Meiklejohn

    November 23, 2011 at 8:28 am

    Hi Edward! Thanks for your submission to the 100WC. I too would be interested to hear about this mysterious ESP that you write about. Are they a shadowy government organisation that monitors the movements of extra terrestrials? Just a thought 🙂

    Keep up the great work!

    Regards

    Mr.M

     
  5. Niamh Beirne

    November 24, 2011 at 10:57 pm

    Hi Edward! What a super entry to the 100WC. I loved the action that you created in the second half of the piece. Your use of smile was excellent and helped to illustrate the intensity of the character’s feelings. Brilliant work!

    Niamh

     

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