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100 WC Week 8 – Scarlett

04 Nov

I remember that day when soldiers came back from the 1st world war, but not father. I always thought he would, mother said he was always too brave, I agreed. It was when I went out into one of the German battlefields that I realised there was blood covering up a good quarter of the rich grass. I looked again and saw it was red poppies. I blinked thinking it was just me, but when I opened my eyes there were the scarlet poppies scattered round the blanket of green grass. I stared at the rare sight in awe.
Remarkable.

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11 Comments

Posted by on November 4, 2011 in Information

 

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11 responses to “100 WC Week 8 – Scarlett

  1. mrcobbsclass

    November 4, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    I really like this piece Scarlett. The “rich grass” really invokes an image of lush green grass. One thing that would improve it would be to start some of the sentences with something other than I. You could just turn a sentence around to do this, so instead of

    I looked again and saw it was red poppies.

    You could have

    Looking again, I saw it was red poppies.

     
  2. AW

    November 4, 2011 at 3:43 pm

    What a truly beautiful piece of writing!

     
  3. Mrs Robinson

    November 4, 2011 at 5:48 pm

    Hi Scarlet – your passage describing the feelings of someone experiencing the hardship and sorrow of war is very moving. I like the way you have formed some of your sentences particularly your opening line ending in, but not father, it grabs the readers attention. From your descriptions you have painted a very emotional picture – well done.

     
  4. Hannah

    November 5, 2011 at 11:02 am

    Your 100WC has lots of emotions in it through the first person, which I really enjoyed. The use of imagery in the descriptions allows the reader to become involved in your writing too. Great work Scarlett!

     
  5. Miss Allen

    November 5, 2011 at 4:25 pm

    Wow Scarlett what an excellent piece of writing. Your writing made me imagine that I was there looking at the field of poppies. It also made me feel a little emotional. Next time you could try to start your sentences with something other than I. I look forward to reading your next peice for the 100WC. 🙂

     
  6. Mrs Skinner

    November 6, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    This is a beutiful piece Scarlett. I have visited Flanders Fields and I think there are always poppies growing there whatever the season. Thank you so much for writing such a thoughtful piece for this week’s 100WC!

     
  7. SB Art Lover

    November 6, 2011 at 3:27 pm

    I agree I used far too many I’s. I have thought of lots of other different sentence openers.

     
  8. SB Art lover

    November 7, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    Looking again,
    Peering,
    Glancing etc.

     
  9. ToddlerBabyNMe (@ToddlerBabyNMe)

    November 10, 2011 at 8:41 pm

    Scarlett I loved the description of the battlefield. Reading this I could visualise it, as if I were there. I do agree with the others about starting the sentence of differently. Overall a fab piece of writing. Look forward to your next post.

     
  10. etp horse lover

    November 13, 2011 at 8:56 am

    scarlett that was amazing writing … scarlet poppies scattered round the blanket of green grass …
    amazing sentence you definatly have a chance of winning 100 word challange
    good luck

     

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