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100 WC Week 2 – William

15 Sep

It was New Years Eve 2022 and I went for a walk in Agnon’s wood when a huge blinding light was right in front of my face! At first I thought I was in a dream but I new I wasn’t.  I started running but suddenly a giant ray of cold mist was coming strait at me. It was so fast I couldn’t turn back it was all over! I was literally an iceberg. I was frozen for a life time! Suddenly I felt warm the ice was melting but I wasn’t in the wood any more I was in a UFO.

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8 Comments

Posted by on September 15, 2011 in Information

 

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8 responses to “100 WC Week 2 – William

  1. mrcobbsclass

    September 15, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    Well done William, I like how you have used time connectives to open some of the sentences, moving the writing on quickly.Make sure you don’t overuse suddenly, not everything has to happen quickly and out of the blue. Great piece of writing though.

     
  2. Class 6

    September 15, 2011 at 2:52 pm

    A great story – you really built up some suspense in the middle! Next time you could try to use some different sentence openers too. Well done!
    Class 6, St Johns

     
  3. Julia Skinner

    September 15, 2011 at 9:11 pm

    This is quite a scary piece William. You have tried to build the tension really well.

    I’m being a bit picky but you need to use the prompt as you are given it. Not to worry – try again next week!

     
  4. Gill Robins

    September 16, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    Thank you for sharing your writing, William. I really love the picture you created in my mind with the phrase, ‘giant ray of cold mist’. What amazing imagery!

     
  5. Kate

    September 17, 2011 at 8:00 am

    An unusual piece written from the future in the year 2022. I liked the way you compared yourself to an iceberg, frozen for a lifetime and then melting.

     
  6. Katie

    September 18, 2011 at 8:51 am

    I really enjoyed reading your piece of work. Its great!

     
  7. Ross Mannell

    September 18, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    Hello William,
    I’m a fan of science fiction stories so I immediately liked your idea. You may have missed adding the prompt but I can see it’s what gave you the idea for your story.
    I hope to see more of your stories in future 100WCs.
    Ross Mannell (teacher)
    Australia

     
  8. Ronnie

    September 21, 2011 at 11:52 am

    Nice bit of work. I really liked it and I liked the fact that you were running into the forest.

     

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