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100 WC – Week 2 – Laela

15 Sep

Last night at midnight I was walking through a spooky dark forest on my way home from a sleepover when suddenly I saw a light coming towards me. I ducked and when I came up there was a massive meteor right in front of me. If  I hadn’t of moved out the way I would have been squashed. I looked at it and touched it, it was hot. I didn’t know what to do but before I could do anything an alien space ship came down and took the meteor and that was the last time I saw that again.

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5 Comments

Posted by on September 15, 2011 in Information

 

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5 responses to “100 WC – Week 2 – Laela

  1. mrcobbsclass

    September 15, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    I like the way you have included how you are feeling in this piece of writing, it makes it an interesting and exciting read. Next time try to start sentences with something other than the subject (I). Perhaps you could use a time connective like finally, after a while? Well done!

     
  2. Class 6

    September 15, 2011 at 2:54 pm

    Well done! We like the different adjectives you have used in your writing to describe different things. Perhaps you could use different openers for your next 100 word challenge? Thank you for posting this so we could read it.
    Class 6,
    St Johns

     
  3. Mrs Skinner

    September 15, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    Thank you for joining the 100WC Laela. I enjoyed this piece of sci-fi writing! Can you make sure that you use the prompt that you are given. You almost did it so not to worry. Hope to see you next week!

     
  4. Kate

    September 17, 2011 at 8:15 am

    I like your idea of the meteorite and the alien spaceship & think you could have made more of this. Maybe if you strip away things that aren’t as important (e.g. on my way home from a sleepover), you will be able to do this. If you do this, your first sentence could become… ‘At midnight, walking through a spooky dark forest, I suddenly saw a light coming towards me.’ It still sets the scene but gets into the story in a crisper way. Once you write your story, spend a bit of time on the editing and you can play about with it, reading it aloud to see what sounds best. Thanks for sharing your writing. I enjoyed reading it. Well done.

     
    • 5D

      September 22, 2011 at 9:26 am

      Your 100WC was great! It was good that you included the background scene, when she came back from the sleepover! Carry on with your great work!
      From Caitlin, Esme and Thishika

      (In 5D)

       

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