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How to Mummify a Pharaoh

15 Feb

In class we’ve been creating instructions for mummifying a body.  Have a look at the example below by Tiegan.  What has been done well?  What could improve this piece of writing.  Add your ideas as comments to this post.  Remember to use the idea of 2 stars and a wish, so 2 positive comments, to one area of development.

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21 Comments

Posted by on February 15, 2011 in Information

 

21 responses to “How to Mummify a Pharaoh

  1. TC

    February 15, 2011 at 11:43 am

    I like the verbs and the things what you need, but i think i can improve repeating some verbs.

     
    • mrcobbsclass

      February 15, 2011 at 11:44 am

      What verbs could you replace to make the instructions more informative?

       
      • TC

        February 15, 2011 at 11:49 am

        Wrap:Bandage, Cloak, Cover.

        Put: Position, Deposit.

         
      • mrcobbsclass

        February 15, 2011 at 11:49 am

        These are great alternatives.

         
  2. EW

    February 15, 2011 at 11:49 am

    I think Tiegan’s work is good because you can see she’s worked realy hard on it. And she’s used good vocabulary 😛

     
    • mrcobbsclass

      February 15, 2011 at 11:52 am

      Can you tell me some of the good vocabulary she used?

       
  3. TJ

    February 15, 2011 at 11:50 am

    this is a great piece of work and it gave me some idias but some of it is not in chronilogical order

     
    • mrcobbsclass

      February 15, 2011 at 11:53 am

      What parts of the process are not in the correct order? How could she alter her text?

       
  4. EW

    February 15, 2011 at 11:53 am

    I like remember to, and artificial

     
  5. ES

    February 15, 2011 at 11:54 am

    I think it is superb! She’s worked super hard on this.because she’s added like evey thing!

     
  6. jh

    February 15, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    I think that it grabs your mind and makes you wonder if thay would be so vile!!!!!

     
  7. ef

    February 16, 2011 at 8:01 am

    it was great

     
  8. Owen Davis

    February 16, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    It was great
    You can add some adjectives and verbs to make a good caption.i

     
  9. Mr Richards

    February 18, 2011 at 11:55 pm

    I think that this is a great piece of work by TC. Not only has she managed to list the mummification process in order, but she has created a perfect set of instructions in which to follow. Well done.

     
  10. stella

    February 28, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    FAB I will never know so much lovly work. I loved reading that. THANK YOU

     
  11. Mary

    March 8, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    Hi Im Mary from Werrington Primary School

    These Instructions are Awsome I dont think I would try to mummify someone though 🙂

     
  12. mckenzie

    March 8, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    I think it is a greate idia to voice recordings on your blog

     
  13. mckenzie

    March 8, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    Your global thing is awsome.

     
  14. Charlie

    March 8, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    Wow Tiegan, I really love this piece of work! I’m Charlie from Werrington Primary School (quad blogger), and I’m really enjoying looking at your blog! I really liked how you used the bossy verbs at the correct times; here’s a little more advice!

    Star- Brilliant bossy verbs! 🙂

    Star- Numbered instructions! 🙂

    Star- You will need list! 🙂

    Wish- Please use more detailed verbs! 😉

    I hope this advice has proved some use to you, and you are able to improve your work by using it in the future.

    Happy blogging!

    Charlie 🙂 😉

     
  15. joseph

    March 8, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    Hi i like your mummyfying

    I like the part when you put a hook through the nose and then pull out the brain.

    I also like the part where you have to put there arms together and the legs together aswell.

     
  16. Annie- Werrington primary School

    March 8, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    Hello, Im Annie

    I think these instruction are really good, I have now decided I will never try to mummify enyone! 😀

     

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